Thursday, April 24, 2008

Pretentious People Really Like Ironic Images Taken from Real Life and Pop Culture

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If there's one thing that pretentious people just can't get enough of (and there's definitely not just one thing), it's ironic images ripped from real life and the endless annals of pop culture. They like to talk about them, use them in their blogs, leave them as comments on other people's blogs, Facebook and Myspace profiles and send them as part of viral e-mail forwards. Many pretentious people that are very technologically-savvy also like to spend hours creating their own ironic images in Photo Shop or taking their own photographs of the ironic stuff they see in their very busy, worldy daily lives.

Some examples of ironic images:

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But what is really so great about this irony for our pretentious friends? It's a really great way to show people how smart they are without either a) doing any appreciable work or b) making a distinguishable or useful contribution to society.

How does this work? Well, all pretentious people have to do (at the bare minimum) to get an ironic image is do a few seconds of online searching and, voila! They have an instant and self-explanatory joke that might, in the best-case scenario, produce the same results in recipients as watching an entire Wes Anderson movie in 1/120th of the time. It's a win-win situation. They don't have to make it up or explain it, and they can get credit for finding it, which, thanks to the Internet is actually perceived as the same as being responsible for making it up or designing it or coming up with the idea themselves. And if they post it on someone's public social networking page, they are guaranteed to have lots and lots of people see just how smart and obscure they are, either permanently or until the comments fill up and they are no longer on the first page of comments (at which point they can simply find another ironic image to post ... easy!).

They of course get extra bonus points if they encounter the hilarious and ironic image in real life and take an impromptu photo or design it themselves combining images and slogans with Photo Shop.

WARNING: Pretentious People, NEVER reveal the actual number of hours, days or weeks you spent locating and/or designing said ironic image! If you're asked how long it took you, the maximum acceptable time (if you want to still seem incredibly awesome) is five minutes and ONLY while you were waiting for someone to send you an e-mail about the next steps of a work project.

As an extra bonus, in most cases pretentious people also don't have to even understand why the image they find is ironic. And if asked by the victims of their viral posting or e-mailing what it means, they can always use that as an opportunity to throw in a "you had to be there" or simply be condescending to avoid having to answer the question while still maintaining (most of) the original obscure and hilarious credit.

In most cases, finding that perfect ironic image is about 100 times better than actually accomplishing anything (aka, earning a Ph.D, getting a promotion at work, medaling at the Olympics, winning a Nobel Prize, getting married, having a child, etc., etc.). Of course, you have to find or produce more than one during your lifetime, but that's not so bad, is it?

How many ironic images = one very productive life?

7.

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