Stuff Pretentious People Like: The Stuff Pretentious People Like Translator: Today's Lesson

It's a well-known fact that while what comes out of pretentious people's mouths is usually English (unless they are rattling off names of dead French or Italian filmmakers or Portuguese ska bands), you can't trust what they say they like as being an actual representation of what they like. Here's a sampling of stuff pretentious people might say they like and what this stuff translates to in plain, inferior English.

Pretentious people say their favorite movie is ...

Anything that Falls into the Category of French Film Noir:

Their actual favorite movie is ...

Anything Your Little Sister Watched in the 90's or that Stars Ralph Macchio or Patrick Swayze:

Pretentious people say their favorite books are ...

Kitschy Romance and Crime Novels from the Mid-20th Century (which they only collect and read for the stunning cover art):

Their actual favorite books are ...

Soft-Core Contemporary Middle-Aged Porn (aka, Anything that Has Been Made into a Lifetime Movie) and "Gritty" Contemporary Crime Novels:

Pretentious people say their favorite TV show is ...

"Arrested Development" (only on DVD and watched on their computer, since they don't own a TV)